If we operate on the premise that behaviour is an impermanent organizational construct, in which the individual or group carries out a number of subconscious and consciously expected functions, it can be assumed that it (behaviour) can be manipulated with the right approach. But before this assumption can be catalogued as safe, and furthermore considered to be educated, we must determine what makes up this construct. Behaviour should be looked at as a combination of a small number of genetic predispositions, early-life cognitive experience, personal and collective choices (which influence and are influenced by experience) and our conscious and subconscious potential and need to comply with familial and social expectations. And it is this definition of behaviour that I’ll focus on in this and subsequent write-ups, to validate some of the techniques used in the art and science of seduction.
It is maintained by social psychologists that demonstrable social value is essential in any style of persuasion; especially in what is referred to as “seduction”. This is true at many levels of the social experience as an individual’s ability to project value or a specific impact on his surroundings is perceived as reciprocal to his control and or authority over his environment (social environment includes other individuals). Further than this, over the last several decades the business world has been heavily concerned with identifying social value and taken up the task of developing metrics towards this undertaking. Today these metrics are enthusiastically used by corporations and their decision makers to select adequate recipients of investment, endorsement, and support.
In the business sectors the decision to cooperate with another organization is mostly based on data that is analogous to measures of profitability, it can be said that it is more or less an impartial process to which formulas can be applied. For example: If company A has developed exceptional products and services for the last 3 consecutive years with exceptional profit, their future profitability can be measured through market research and forecasting, which will allow company B to decide on the type of investment they should afford to company A in order to secure a better return. It is important to note that even with the sophisticated mathematics that is applied to these metrics of business social value, errors can be made during the decision process. The question here is: is social value an objective element of social experience? I will assert that if it is not an objective fact in business, with its advanced metrics, it is less so at the individual level. The inexorable complexities inherent in human behaviour give way to subjectivity – at this level social value cannot be impartially measured through formulas, rather it can only be perceived by the individual assessing it.
Let us now look at the principle of perceived value: People base their understanding of things, and most times their behaviour toward them on early-life cognitive experiences (as mentioned in the definition of behaviour provided in the opening paragraph). If a woman, for example, has been made to believe in or, in a sense, indoctrinated into the importance of acquiring a wealthy husband, from an early age, chances are that she will only perceive value in wealth, and may be very difficult to seduce by any other means – I know this type very well unfortunately. This condition in which a person perceives individuals in positions of financial privilege as better or more valuable is often referred to as Prince Charming Complex; parallel to this, there is what I’ve have come to know as the Prince Charming Syndrome, or when a man will tell a woman anything she wants to know in order to seduce her. It is appallingly obvious that the PUA community endorses these complexes and syndromes as valid methods of seduction: the stipulation is that if the woman perceives wealth as valuable then the man should lie about his to (as they say): “get into her pants”.
It is easy to digress into the philosophical/moral implications of some persuasion tactics or the condemnation of such methods, but for truth to prevail it is imperative to remain objective. The truth is that social value, whether perceived or fairly scrutinized by science, is important in influence. As businesses, we want to secure the best possible return of investment and to increase our own civic impact by dealing with our best options. Aside from our methods to arrive at the conclusion we want the same in our individual lives. We want the best partner possible. It is at times more than social expectations but also a biological imperative – the best, healthiest looking individuals are often more fertile and at the same time (though not always) more capable of providing for their partners.
There are exercises that can be done to measure social value and also to project it. In my next write-up, I will show you some of the basic and natural tools we all possess to accomplish this, and all without charlatanism or deception.
Before this I’ll present you with the idea that if you can understand someone’s value, and manipulate their perception of it (not necessarily yours), you’ll have more control than you could ever get by lying about who you are.