4 PUA Techniques that DO NOT work
The trend or at least the popular MO of these so called “P.U.As” (Pick up Artists) is to overpower the women they approach. They go into an interaction with a number of scripted lines that allegedly conform to a superior knowledge of human behaviour, and or psychology. These so called sets are repeated several times in hopes of attaining different results with every woman (every “set”) they approach. Erroneously (and a clear sign of their lack of knowledge of social dynamics), it is assumed by many P.U.As that women in any particular social setting are there with intention of being hit on and that any behaviour is meant to satisfy this intention. This is to say that if a woman has, previously to going out, made the decision to apply makeup, or to wear a nice dress, she has done this solely to attract the attention of single males. And while there might a small part of truth to the conception, in the total scope of female behaviour it renders those who believe it, shallow and ignorant. The truth is that these lonely and therefore horny males are being sold magic formulas that do not work, and far from being magic, they often accomplish the opposite of the desired effect. Women do want to be approached, like all social beings do, and often they will act, move, or dress in a way that is suggestive of this desire. What is important to understand is that women do not want to be approached by just any insecure boy wanting to get laid. All attempts to interact with another person, male or female will be more successful if carried out authentically and confidently. These are the principles that men should embrace when learning the art and science of seduction. As it turn out a good understanding of context and social behaviour can yield much better results with a lot less risk of becoming, at least in her eyes, an annoying and insecure little weasel. Let’s always remember that in the game of seduction, social value is often essential.
Myths about seduction
1 The Numbers Game
I’ve heard many a P.U.A admit that the amount of women they approach will increase their chances of success. I have personally seen this strategy at work, and as expected it has never rendered results any better than chance. Besides, when it is employed in a close circle it can be detrimental to a man’s social value.
The Game of numbers is simple: approach as many women as possible and you’re bound to get positive reactions from some or at least one of them. And the psychology of this gambit is quite transparent; it aims to condition men to be more comfortable with the approach by lessening fear of rejection. This brute-force tactic only works with about 5% of those who employ it and from any intelligent perspective it is blatantly archaic. In essence, the Game of numbers causes the man to be more familiar with rejection, not to overcome it, and overcoming rejection should be the goal of anyone who wants to seduce or influence others. There are many proven psychological skills that one can use to get past social anxiety. These skills will often enhance the whole of one’s social experience and will never make you look like a desperate, pitiful creep, who will talk to anyone drunk enough to give you the time of day – more on this drunk stuff later.
2 Demeaning women
This is an adaptation of social validation theory, which states that when we are uncertain about what to do, we will look to others for guidance. As social beings we are validated by our interactions with others, we look for understanding and approval from our peers, especially those we “choose” as potential mates; thus, if one of these peers takes or denies us value they are the only ones who can give it back. We look for value in our dealings automatically and subconsciously. Pick up Artists prey on this human disposition; however, instead of subtly influencing a woman’s perceived value to develop attraction, they tend to diminish it. The idea seems straight forward: take her value, all of it, and return it only when she has behaved in ways she will regret. Remember that a regretful woman is less likely yo pursue your company again.
3 Lying or making up stories.
Often, pick up teachers or as they annoyingly without merit call themselves: coaches, suggest that a man should tell stories about himself that are not entirely true, or that have embedded embellishments. For example: you were driving one night leaving a VIP party at the most popular night-club in the city, and as you got into your Ferrari… and so on. The truth about this, and albeit a moral standpoint, is that unless you were at this VIP party, and actually drive an F-12, you’re a disgusting liar, who deserves no more than a cold shoulder, if not a slap in the face, with a brick. Further, if you manage to convince your victim of such dishonesty, you’ll have your work cut out for you when it comes to corroborating your tales. Honesty is the best policy, and it is always better to have the object of your interest find things about you naturally. Confidence in who you are, or self-esteem is a much better attitude to project than a fake persona, and though it takes some effort to become self-confident for some of us, it is easier than to have to maintain a lie. Furthermore, the psychological and emotional damages it can cause to both parties are many, Making this the worst possible advice anyone can offer in the fields of seduction and influence.
4 Buy drinks, flash money to get attention
Going hand-in-hand with the lying gambit, this is an attempt to establish social value. It presents the person attempting the seduction, as someone with power and control; at least financial control, which is invariably a good characteristic of influential people. The problem with trying to appear affluent from the offset of the interaction is that it makes seduction, something that should be more about passion and pleasure, into a cold business transaction. Men who open a conversation with lines like: “you’re beautiful, so let me buy you a drink” or “what are you drinking? I’d like to buy you the next one.” are directly attempting to buy the woman’s attention. This is in no way an indicator of interest, as much as an indicator that the girl wants a drink. On the other hand, it may be irresponsible to refuse a girl a drink after rapport has been establish and conversation has been had. In this case the drink can be taken as a sign of acceptance and connection. It is important to play this one right, as it may let you know where the night is going to end up.